This is my first post of the New Year. What do we do as we start the new year? Look back at last year's failures and plan for success moving forward, right? This isn't going to be a post about resolutions, though. I didn't make any. Except maybe to be less stubborn. Be kinder to others. Share more of myself.
The title is also perfect, because it is the answer to the question I'm hearing the most these days... "what happened?" You see, I broke my leg over Christmas break because I was doing exactly that - looking backward to say "goodbye" to someone, while moving forward out their door. Um, there was a step there. Ouch.
I'm sure there's an allegory there. I'll leave you to work it out.
It's a nasty break. My right leg. The docs and nurses were all impressed with how well I broke it. One doc said 3-6 months of healing, BEFORE rehab and PT. 6 months of not driving. At least. Right now I'm not allowed to put any weight on it at all. Suddenly I own a shower chair. Toilet rails. A walker. All because I was looking backward while moving forward. Yes, folks, walking and talking at the same time requires a certain level of skill!
However, the real reason I chose that title, is because it describes the strategy I'm using to keep my sanity as I heal. Looking backward... while moving forward.
You may remember, how in April, I decided to move away from the community I had lived in for a dozen years. In August, with God's blessing, I landed across the country in a new neighborhood.With God's blessing.
As I struggle to move forward with the day-to-day challenges of being broken, I keep reviewing all the steps that brought me here, to this place, at this time.
I'm still confident that God blessed my move.
I also believe that nothing happens to God's people that is outside of his control. So He allowed this accident to happen this year. Last year, I made the same trip. Walked out the same door. Last year I would have been going home to that community of care. This year, I'm on my own, and my family has had to get creative to help me out. My parents. My sister. My Aunt. Help coming in from 3 different states, and none of them the one in which I live! Last year I had tons of sick leave. This year, there was barely enough to cover the immediate crisis. Last year, I would have felt - just a little - more in control.
Ha!
So I've got to believe there was a reason, or many reasons, why this accident happened this year.
So I'm looking backward. At my journal and notes and blog from last year, as I set aside the old life and took up the new. I'm remembering that the reasons I moved were to draw closer to family, and to learn to trust God-the-provider to meet my needs.
Ha, ha!
So I'm praying. And learning. And healing. And growing. And looking backward... while moving forward.
...and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28
