In honor of Valentine's Day, let me ask you a personal question.How do you show love to your friends? (Not your spouse... I'll leave that for married bloggers to handle)!
Do you buy flowers? Candy?
Do you make cards? Or spend way too much time in the card aisle trying to find just the right words?
Do you plan a special time to spend together?
Do you hug?
Do you do "a little something extra" - like wash her car or cook his favorite meal?
Now... let me ask another.
What do you like best to receive from those who love you?
Be honest. Don't say "anything." What is it that really, really makes you grin? You know... that face-splitting, she's-spoiled-and-we-all-know-it smile you just can't dim?
Is it the same?
See... being on the slow road has given me a great chance to think about the ways people show love to their friends and neighbors. Giving love takes effort (the married people are backing me up on this right now)... even when it's "just" to your friends.I've been incredibly blessed by people who've given of their time to help me. I know that giving time is an act of love. I couldn't "do" this, if it weren't for that generosity - the rides to and from work, to and from church... that's what I need most right now. So I'm thankful for the folks who are giving it.
Two other beautiful souls I know are recovering from major medical procedures. They can't DO anything they are used to doing. No work. No favorite hobbies. They have both been blessed beyond measure by the time their spouses, children, and grandchildren spend fussing over them.
But love doesn't come with a one-size-fits-all tag. Time isn't always the answer.
A recent divorcee I know burst into tears when someone hugged her at church. She hadn't been hugged since before her husband left... months ago. A simple touch was what she needed most, to feel like someone really cared about her.I know another woman who, faced with a life-changing illness, found herself surrounded by plenty of folks willing to help. However, she has savings & family, so she didn't really need help. What her family couldn't manage, they paid to have done. Unfortunately, when she didn't have anything for her friends to do, they drifted away, leaving her to fight the demons of despair and discouragement alone. All she really wants is for someone to tell her she still matters. Words of hope. Words of love.
And, if I'm being completely honest, I may need the gift of time, but it's not what makes me want to shout from the mountaintops. My favorite gift is service. I felt SUPER blessed those first few weeks, when my family reached out in so many different ways to smooth my path. Even before I was hurt, I loved it when a friend surprised me by washing my car while I was at work. Or helping me decorate my classroom.
So... this Valentine's Day, stop and chat with your neighbor. Let her know she matters. Invite someone you haven't seen for a while out for a cup of coffee or a walk in the park. Give a friend a hug. Give a stranger a hug. Give your mother a hug. Offer to help someone with their chores, vacuum their car, or shovel their snowy driveway. Volunteer for a day of service in the community.Step out of your comfort zone, and try a new way of showing you care. I bet it will make your day brighter.
Jesus said we needed to love our neighbors as ourselves. One of my favorite old Christian song declares "they will know we are Christians by our love" (click here to hear the Jars of Clay version). Let's make that true.
If you haven't read it, I recommend Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages. If you have, you probably recognized the ideas I shared here. I read the book years ago, when it was trending around book-clubs and small groups. Any content here that is too close for comfort must be really really good, because it's what stuck in my head.
