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| (I did not make this picture. I haven't been to a sunny, sandy beach this year. Yet?) |
I'd like to spend the next few days sharing a snapshot of the last 10 weeks of my life. If I were a different person, I could use less words and fit it all into one post. But if you know me, you know "succint" is not in my toolkit.
As I shared in an earlier post, my motto for the last couple years has been "love the life you live." Paul and Timothy both touted the virtues of contentment. I have made a point - almost a discipline - of noticing and being thankful for the little blessings that God had poured out on me. 12 weeks ago, I had one of those great weeks that are easy to enjoy. Dinner with a friend. Checkups with the dentist and the eye doctor. Lining up easy work for the summer, and looking forward to vacation. Preparing for the end of the school year, and planning ahead for the next one. Organizing. Cleaning. A friend even came into my classroom one weekend to help me re-arrange posters so the walls would be ready for September. Ballet with yet another friend, and chosing shows to see the following season.
Then, June 3 (just over 10 weeks ago), in a sermon series on the Lord's prayer, we hit the phrase "give us this day our daily bread." Simple, right? Just a handy reminder that God's our ultimate provider, that He wants us to rely on Him, and that He's happy to give us what we need.
Unless you dwell on it. Simple doesn't stay simple for long when you really think about it.
"Give us this day our daily bread."
Like He did for the Israelites in the desert. When they didn't know what to expect or how they would survive, God rained down mana from heaven. Simple fare. Basic. But it met their needs. They rejoiced. It was like nothing they'd ever had before. It was amazing. They were satisfied.
Until they weren't. They complained. Still the food came.
Then they whined about the other petty problems they had. Still the food came.
Then they turned to an idol. A golden cow. An idol it took them days to make.
Still the food came. Every morning. While they used their talents and treasures to create a statue to worship.
Still the food came.
WOW! That understanding blew me away. Literally blew open the doors of my mind.
Now, some of you will read this and go "duh." I think that's the way spiritual maturity is supposed to work, and I'm glad. I've been a Christian for 20+ years, and am also glad I still get surprised by God. It makes my heart dance when I figure out some new truth.
And for me, that's what happened early on the morning of June 4. I finally truly understood that God takes care of His own, always. ALWAYS. Once you trust your life to Jesus, commit to following Him, no matter what wilderness might appear, God will always provide for you. I'd spent most of my journey walking with God the Protector. Now I was finding myself face-to-faith with God the Provider.
Whose Spirit reminded me of another familiar word - the one at the top of this post.
You see, as much as I loved my life 12 weeks ago, I felt restless. Incomplete. Frustrated. I wanted ... something. But I was afraid to reach out and try to find it because I could see what a good life I had. I felt like the most ungrateful wretch being dissatisfied in any way with such a lovely life. God had blessed me in so many ways. How could I not just be still and enjoy them? Turns out, I was not made to sit still.
Turns out that one of the desires of my heart was to move.
To see some more of "God's green Earth."
To challenge myself in the million ways you do when you move.
To be nearer my family and watch my nieces and nephew grow up.
To be where the sun shines more often than not.
I *do* love the life I left behind. I love my friends. The beautiful scenery. The temperate weather. The safety of the school and community where I lived.
But I also love adventure.
And I trust that God will provide. Because more than anything, I love my God. And He promised that He's got me covered.
