Don't Look Back!

A little less than a year ago I decided to leave everything I had known for most of my adult life and move east, toward adventure, sunrise, and family.

It was a bold decision.
It was exciting.
It was a leap of faith.
It was really hard to tell my friends.

"Hi guys. I really love you. I love the way you include me in your family events. I love cheering for your kids. I love parties in your backyard. I love that you will come cook with me in the middle of the night when I'm restless. I love the way you get me. By the way... I'm leaving it all to start a new life by myself where I know no one."

Yea.
I'm a big people person. I have a lot of friends. So... had some variation on that conversation about a dozen times last June. Most times, it ended with the reassurance that if things didn't work out, I'd always be welcome back.

One friend's words really stood out. One friend refused to go that road.
He said, in essence, that I had to burn the ships. I was an explorer going to a new world, and I couldn't be looking back over my shoulder, second guessing myself all the time. I had to keep my eyes forward, looking to the horizon. If I was going to go through with this (and his wife really hoped I wouldn't), then I had to commit, fully.

I knew he was right.

In October, when I had to give up my "leave" at my old job, because it was unethical to keep that spot "open" when I had another job, I resolutely put my eyes forward, and submitted my resignation. That "leave" had been my safety net. Cutting it loose was tough.


In November & December, when I was homesick for the traditions of the life I'd known, I remembered his advice, and quit looking back. I went out searching for new traditions. I wrote about it on a post called "Home for the Holidays." I didn't find any new traditions yet, but I did have some fun.

In January, when I broke my foot, and had to beg for help with everything, I knew it would have been easier had it happened in a place where I was surrounded by long-time friends. Still, that wasn't God's timing. I've dealt with the challenges, and learned a lot about my "new world" and myself in the process.

I've grown, and realized that even with the hurdles and homesickness, I am glad I moved.

Sometime, in the last few months, I crossed a line. I don't catch myself "examining" life anymore, checking out another way, comparing it to what I knew, and weighing it out as if I have an option to rent or to buy.  Sometime in the last few months, it's settled in my heart that for now, for this season, this *is* my life. I bought in.

I like what I've learned about myself and another part of our little world.


I miss my friends, and am thankful for the modern technology that keeps me connected, and lets me share my adventures with them and share their lives even now.  My heart will always call Tacoma home. It is a beautiful, wonderful place. I will gladly take advantage of any opportunity to visit.

Maybe some day - a few more years into the future -  I might choose to move back. Not because things didn't work out. No. If I move back, it will be because I have realized that I'm ready to settle down, and there's truly no place on Earth I'd rather be.

For now, though, as I enter the last quarter of my first year in my new life, I know that I'm not done with my adventures yet. I don't know what the next year will look like (though I desperately hope crutches & casts aren't involved). I do know there's a lot to see and do yet.

I'm looking forward to it.

I know this is where I usually insert a verse... I don't really have one this week. The closest I've found was Phil.3:13, but I don't really want to "forget" what was behind, even though I am pushing toward what lies ahead. To be honest, it's an old Stephen Curtis Chapman song "Burn the Ships" that's been running through my mind. It's 1990's retro, but I've always liked it. Here's a youtube link if you don't know it.

Do you, dear friend, have a verse I should meditate on that supports this topic? Maybe through your eyes...?

What being a Pirate taught me... (Prov. 2:4)

Last Friday marked the end of the first quarter of the 2012/2013 school year.

My teaching team and I decided to end on a bang.

5 of 7 teachers on my team, pirate-style! #6 was gone, and made it up the day she returned. #7... well...

We set aside the ordinary, and spent the day playing Pirates.

The kids still practiced the skills we've been working on. They reviewed an informational poster about pirates "then and now," and practiced their comparative skills. They read an article about deep-sea archaeology and practiced inferring. They "played" archaeologists and "dove" for artifacts which they used to deduce the origins, destination, and purpose of a ship "Captain Calamity" had sunk. They sequenced. They sorted. They read maps. They looked at slavery as a business, and made judgements. They evaluated risk vs. reward in deciding whether "Pirate Pete" should attack certain vessels. They used SMART cannons to review number-sense. They practiced dividing the booty and dealing with remainders. They explored the way water distorts light.  They dealt with issues of bullying and power; safety and responsibility; character and integrity.

They earned loot.

They laughed.

They had fun.

During our one-day adventure on the high-seas, my students worked harder and probably learned more than they had the rest of the week. And they loved it.

So did I. This is why I got into teaching. Because learning can be fun. Because facts ARE interesting. Because children need to be stretched, to grow and expand their world views, to learn to THINK through situations and actions.

Not to bore kids into submission.

Not to manage tests. 

Not to spend so much time on data collection and analysis that I don't have time to plan.

Not to be buried in unconnected curriculum designed to "help" students meet each of a hundred individual learning targets through "carefully designed, explicit instruction."

People who expect "carefully designed, explicit instruction," to be crafted for each one of the myriad skills students have to master, haven't listened to a child lately. Kids see the world differently. They desperately want things to connect. To make sense. 

Being a pirate for a day taught me that if we really want kids to learn, to enjoy learning, and to leave school with confidence, character, and competency, we may need some pirates to knock us off the course we've been sailing. There's treasure to be found.

Search for wisdom as if it were money. Hunt for it as if it were hidden treasure. Proverbs 2:4

On moving forward... (Prov. 9:12)

Last Friday, a member of the local Sherrif's department came to give an assembly for all the 5th graders at my school. Most of these 5th graders have been with our school for many years. More than half of them come from "challenging" backgrounds. For them, 5th grade really marks a crucial dividing line. Up until now, the deputy reminded them, they've been surrounded by people who know them well, and are working with them, as they develop their characters. Next year begins a whole new era of personal accountability.

At the heart of his presentation was a message about setting goals and working toward them. He shared how he is working to further his education, taking online classes at night after getting home at 2a.m.. He told the kids that his drive was to be a better person, husband, father, friend, officer next year than he was this year.

Of course, that's what we all want, isn't it? To be a better person next year? To develop as human beings? It certainly is what God wants for us.

Yet how many of us really stop to examine our personal, long-term goals - regularly - and work toward them faithfully? I know I don't. Not that I don't set goals. Or accomplish things. As any one who's known me long can tell you, when I make my mind up to do something, it gets done.

Unless it doesn't.

Usually the "doesn't" covers the things that actually would improve me as a person. I can plan for a vacation, no problem. This summer I checked at least 3 items off my bucket list. But there are some long-term goals I've had for a while that I've done next-to-nothing about. 

Yes, progress is being made.
But don't ask how long those cups have been around. 

So, I realized I'm not a novelist about a year after I bought this magazine.
But I am an essayist. And much of the same logic/discipline applies.

I've yet to meet a Christian who really felt they "got" Revelation.
I keep meaning to *really* study it. And the prophets. Oh, and the law.
Clearly, I could certainly spend more time  internalizing God's message to His children.
(Book by a friend, Keith Ferrin, available at this link.)

The uncomfortable truth is that I'm much better with short term goals than long term ones. Accomplishing things keeps life interesting, and makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere. Sometimes I am. But not having long-term goals is the same as refusing to look at the bigger picture. And God created us as eternal beings. There's no avoiding the fact that life is lived long-term.

Of course, long term goals require a plan. And some patience. Not to mention perserverence. Those are 3 p's I really struggle with (believe it or not!). Thank goodness for prayer. Because when it comes to thinking long-term, I know I need God's help.

So I'm carving out time today to consider the deputy's questsion: "How will I be a better person next year than I am today?" I already have a couple of ideas. Based on my history with short-term goals, I am confident that, God willing, I can achieve it.

And won't that be a day to celebrate?! 

You are the one who will profit if you have wisdom; and if you reject it, you are the one who will suffer.

(HA! You were expecting 1Cor9:24, weren't you? I thought about it. Really I did.)           -Proverbs 9:12 And if I were you, I'd peek back at Proverbs 8, too.

(Repost) Wanderers!

I originally posted this in the summer of 2009 on facebook. Reposted because... well... summer's coming!

So...

If you know me well at all, then you know that I grew up in a family of wanderers. Nomads. Gypsies. Whatever you want to call it, we are a people who don't know how to stay put. If you don't know me well (yet), perhaps the easiest way to sum it up is to say I attended 10 schools from grade six through grade 12. I'm not an "army brat." I'm blue-collar, and proud of it. Mom's a waitress. Dad's in construction. We follow the work. Sometimes this requires a very "flexible" lifestyle.

From all that wandering, I learned some valuable lessons.

1) There is a correct way to load a moving van. There is also a correct way to drive one.
2) Home is people, not places.
3) Everywhere is somewhere. Enjoy it. Your life is someone else's vacation destination.
4) Keep a book handy. They don't need to be plugged in, charged up, or properly loaded. They don't interfere with other people's conversation. You decide when to "play." There is no time limit. If you loose one it's not the end of the world.
5) There is no thing you own that you cannot replace. Some are just harder to find than others. Searching for them can be fun, too.
6) Real friends keep in touch, even if only once-in-a-while.
7) You'd be surprised how far you can stretch $5 when you really need to.
8) A plan is helpful. Trusting in the plan makes all the difference.

I also learned that it's okay to take risks. Sometimes things don't go quite the way you'd hoped. That's frustrating. Annoying. Depressing. Ultimately, though, you will survive. You'll come out on the other side with another great story to tell.

This recession has been hard on construction. Waitresses, too. There hasn't been steady work for months, so it's time to move on. Time for a fresh start in a new place. Actually, not so new. They're heading back to the North East, where they both grew up. Because there hasn't been much work, they made a tough call to try to sell the furniture instead of moving it with them. I know how hard that decision was. A lot of it hasn't sold yet. That makes it even harder. There is no fairy godmother to turn the furniture into gasoline along the way. Still, they need to go, so they'll make do with what they've got. I believe they will be fine. They always are.

My folks are some of the bravest people I know. This year they turn 50. They've been together for 20+ years now. Some folks mark these milestones with roots firmly planted, branches spread, settled in to rest and survey a familiar landscape. Not my folks. They pack up. Pick up. Move out. Don't hesitate (much). Do what it takes.

That's what I want to be like when I'm 50.

BOLD.

Be Brave! (Phil 4:8)

I admit it. I'm rather excited for Disney/Pixar's newest film, Brave.
Not because I love animated films (though when I'm in the right mood, I do). Not because I'm a fan of Scotland (I'm not) or folklore (I am, but this isn't a familiar tale). Not even because it's got a spunky female lead (what movie doesn't these days?).
Nope.
I'm excited because the leading lady has frizzy red hair.
Yup. You read that right. I'm excited because of a cartoon girl's tangled tresses.

I'm not sure how copyright works here in the blogosphere, so I won't post a picture from the movie. Here's a link to the official website, though. 

You might not recognize it consciously, but this is a 21st century first. Sure...there have been some frizzy-headed characters in modern movies. Quite often they are the "before." Remember 2001's The Princess Diaries, or even Harry Potter (Hermione became quite polished, rather quickly). But as a rule, today's heroines are always sleek, no matter how improbable (think Hunger Games). Add to that the ever-present Pantene commercials, and what's a frizzy-headed girl to do?

Spend a ton of time and money trying to smooth out her God-given curls? Wear a hat?
According to the previews for Brave, the Princess' mother tries both approaches. They don't work.
Merida, the princess, is who she is, and she's not ashamed of it.

We need a little more of that confidence in our every day lives.
We also need to recognize and represent the diversity that makes the world so glorious. Ethnic and cultural, certainly. I'm well aware that the media has  a huge problem with that. But, I realized this weekend, we also need to glorify the diversity of style and personality. We are not made to be cookie cutter copies of some master template.

What would happen if we didn't buy the stereotypes? If we didn't think every woman should WANT to look like Jennifer Aniston or Halle Berry? If we didn't think all men should WANT to look like Bradley Cooper or Donald Driver? What if we were more interested in the secrets of a person's character than Victoria's Secret?

We live in a media-saturated world. Books, movies, music, tv shows, and advertisements are everywhere, and they are training us, whether we want them to or not. It's how our brains work.

We have to fight back. Meet real people. Do real things. Soak up reality. Let reality shape our perceptions.


Recognize the truth:

Christians aren't always preaching.
Dads aren't all clueless.
Moms aren't all polished, organized, and patient.
Teenagers aren't all irresponsible. Or beasts. Or totally sex-crazed.
Suburban house-wives aren't all (fit and glamorous) joggers.
Singles aren't all hanging out at bars.
Criminals aren't glamorous.

... and not everyone has perfect hair.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. -Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

The Magic of Numbers

I teach humanities to middle-schoolers. That means I spend my days trying to make groups of about twenty-six 11 year-olds care about reading strategies, grammar, writing fluency, and history. If you've never done that, you should try it sometime. It's very ... entertaining.

I have to say though, that this weekend, it's math that is fascinating me. Specifically subtraction.You see, this week included one of my top-ten favorite days in the school year.The orchestra field trip.
Wait.
What?
Why does a reading teacher care about that? And what has a music field-trip to do with subtraction?

Well... let me explain.
At my school, all students take music. There are three choices - band, vocal, and orchestra. Since my students are the "babies" of the building (meaning it's their first year with us), they get to choose more freely, based on their interest and curiosity, not talent (or lack of). Which means they are pretty evenly split. Typically, about 1/3 of my class signs up for each musical discipline.

So, when the orchestra takes their annual field trip, I loose about 1/3 of my class for half the day.

Why is this a good thing?
Because of subtraction.
You see, in teaching, size really does matter.

With only 16 kids instead of 25 in my morning group, I was able to work with EVERY STUDENT IN THE ROOM for a few minutes that morning. Instead of trying to help a collective group of 11 year-olds extrapolate their personal struggles from a general lesson, I could get right to the issue and set each of them a task to help him/her move forward with what he/she needed. The kids who were "getting it," could work on enriching their understanding - and could check in with me if the going got too tough. The kids who weren't got more time with me to revisit and review the core concept. Even the kid who sometimes makes me want to crawl under a desk and hide learned something that morning.

He proved it, that afternoon, when the kids who were present in the morning got to "teach" the lesson to those orchestra kids who missed it (who caught up pretty easily because they were motivated). He was so proud of himself!

I think it was that student who prompted me to write this post. Because for him, even more than for me, size mattered. With a smaller class he got the attention he needed to actually learn something.

As citizens and voters, we need to remember that. One or two extra kids might not seem like a big deal, but they are. They add up quickly. That one kid who needed a little extra help? He might be yours.

"What's the motto with you?"

Mottos are funny things. You don't really choose them. They find you. Mine turned up on a ring I found in the clearance bin. A ring that just happened to fit my fat fingers, and was a style I like. Perfect.

It was also a perfect reminder of the mindset I'd decided to cultivate in this season of my life. Having finally recognized it was past time to stop wishing for things God clearly didn't want me to have yet (husband, children, a home with a view), I knew I needed to shift my focus to the life I actually have.


When I took the time to really look, I had to admit, the life I'm living is chock-full-o-blessings. I have a cute and roomy apartment in a wonderful suburban community. The kind of suburb that still has trees everywhere and no street lights. The kind that has apple-squeezes and Fourth of July parades and daddy-daughter dances at the community center. If I take a nice healthy walk, I can enjoy one of the best views around.

No, I'm not in the boonies, either. With my lovely car (another blessing, thankyouverymuch), and 20 minutes time, I can be just about anywhere. Work. Shopping. A variety of tasty restaurants. Movie theaters. Community theaters. Coffee shops (okay, those are less than 5 mins away - another blessing!).

I travel. That's something I'd have to do a lot less of if I had kids. I know, because my kid sister has 2 kids. I count them in my blessings, too. Even though they live on the other side of the country, I get to see them every year. Usually at a beach or pool. Joy!

My brother added another little blessing to the family last year. He's in a slightly different (though still far away) direction, so visiting him gives me a different vacation experience.

I have a steady job that I usually find pretty rewarding. In this day and age, that's a big blessing. I can pay my bills and still have a little "mad money" to play with. I know I should save more, and I'm working on that (but travel's just so much fun!). Even so, I don't feel stressed out, and that's a blessing.

My relationships are my biggest blessings, though. I get along well with my family. I have more good friends in my life today than many people have in a lifetime. My small-friends invite me to their birthday parties, school plays, concerts, and celebrations. We go ice-skating and do fun projects. Sometimes we even sneak off to McDonalds. My other friends (the grownups) like to have me over to rearrange their homes, cook (and eat) dinner, watch movies or tv, play stupid games (or dance to the wii!) and sometimes even solve a murder. I don't have to car-shop, eat out, or go to the movies alone unless I want to. I can borrow a cup of sugar (or a crock-pot) at just about any hour of the day or night. There's always somewhere to go, something to do, and someone to do it with. In fact, sometimes I have to schedule time home to do my laundry!

In short, I really do love the life I live. I just needed a little reminder.
A good motto will help you re-frame your world. Find one.