One FINE Day! (PS 118:24)

Imagine for a moment that you had to give up your favorite hobby for 112 days. Visualize 16 weeks of not doing one of your favorite things. 

Now imagine the day you get to break that streak. Today was that day for me. Today I got to drive again. Yup. Driving was the thing I missed the most in this whole broken adventure.

Danskin "Tanya's" (seriously)
 bought by mail in January,
great for hopping on one foot.

Oh, and I'm walking now, too. With a cane. And I don't have to wear the big ugly boot. But the doc really wants me wearing good shoes. You see, I have bad feet. Mom'll vouch for that. I was supposed to wear orthodics as a kid. Inside saddle shoes. You can probably guess how long that lasted. 

So, how did I celebrate?

Cinderella's Slipper

I went to VA Runners and got a really expensive pair of sneakers. And excellent customer service. If I ever make it to that fantasy-land where I'm a person who runs for fun, I'll definitely be shopping there.

My new Super-Shoes.
At least they better be Super. They were super-spendy!

My view from home this winter.
Lovely, but limited.

Next, I treated myself to some Starbucks. Apparently, they rolled out a hazlenut treat in the last few months. I had a sample. It was lovely. But today was for spoiling, so I had a simple frappucino. The last Starbucks I enjoyed was when my sister was here helping in January. That's 3 months, folks! That's waaaaay longer than Lent! Of course, it wasn't just about the drink. My joy was multiplied by sitting outside the shop, watching the Saturday traffic, enjoying the sunshine and a view that was not framed by my front door! 

Soooooooooo good!

While I was sitting at Starbucks, I decided I had the energy for one more stop. Should I go to the grocery store? Target? A movie?  I decided I needed a haircut. After all, when you're dependent on the kindness of strangers to shuttle you to work and  doctor's appointments, and to fetch groceries, cleaning supplies, and prescriptions, things like haircuts don't even make the list.

All - in - all, a good day. A very good day, indeed!

 I'm not a teen, and therefore not an expert at the phone-self portrait.
I was smiling in some of the really blurry ones. :-) Sorry!

This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it! - Ps118:24

Time-OUT! (Mk 2:27)

A few weeks ago I made myself an outline of topics I wanted to write about for the next few weeks. My goal was to become more consistent, and to find a rhythm in my posting. I deliberately decided to ignore trickier issues like voice, relevance, and whether or not the world really needs another blogger. I enjoy writing, and I decided that it was my privilege to inflict my opinions on anyone crazy enough to read them. After all, if the title of this blog doesn't say "enter at your own risk," I think you  may want to revisit the definition of "insignificant."

So I have this outline. A to-do list, if you will.

This week was supposed to be about loving what you do. Burning the midnight oil. Having a passion for your job. It seemed like a good fit for a week that included parent-teacher conferences. I even got Jennie to make me some art! (Go, check out her website. She does some cool stuff).

I was right in theory. This week was exhausting. The midnight oil was burnt, refilled, and burnt again. I even wrote two posts about conferences earlier this week, just to vent. (Scroll down, they should be showing).

But now that the week is done, and I've survived, I'm not feeling very passionate about work. In fact, I'm feeling rather drained.

Which could be a problem, since the schedule says to write about passion.
Then again, maybe not. After all, true passion does leave us exhausted. Spent.
Perhaps because we are not able to live very long at that level of intensity. We have to have time to recharge. Reset.

God made us that way. He warned us to make time to rest. He specifically set aside one day in every week for unwinding. He even modeled it for us. "On the seventh day He rested." - Genesis 2:2.

I'm sure there's something God could have been doing that first Sabbath day. Something on His eternal to-do list. Something He could have been tweaking, improving, making better than "good." He did get right back to work on the 8th day, without an alarm clock or snooze alarm (though I'd like to believe He at least had some coffee!), because there was still plenty to be done.

That's the point, really. There's always more to be done. There's a huge gulf between "good enough" and "excellent." As much as I'd like to be excellent, all the time, at everything (and my mom will be happy to tell you I've always been that way), I'm learning that sometimes I have to accept "good enough."

So today's the day I'll rest and reset. I've already gone for a walk. I've read a book. I'm giving myself time and permission to just do whatever I want. Which will probably include folding the laundry and cleaning the kitchen, not because they are on some to-do list, or because they have to be done, but because having things clean and organized makes me feel rested.

Then tomorrow afternoon, when I take out my school-bag, I'll be able to feel the excited anticipation of renewed enthusiasm.

Thank you, Jesus, for reminding me of the real reason for the fourth commandment.

Then He said to them "The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath."  -Mk2:27 (NIV)

conferring (part 2)

Well, hello there!

It's been a while since we first met on back-to-school night in August.

A lot has happened in the 11 school-weeks since.

We've worked hard on math, science, social studies, reading, writing, and all that other "stuff" we do each day. I'd love to tell you all about it, but we only have 20 minutes. So I'll spend that time focusing on whatever it is that really stands out for your child.

It might be the way he works so very hard each day. On everything. Neatly. I am so impressed.

It could be the way she seeks out opportunities to apply what were learning to everyday life.

I'm really quite excited about the way he makes connections between our lessons and his tv shows or video games, and I'm likely to tell you about that.  It shows he's listening and thinking!

I might tell you about how she assigns herself extra practice each night in her areas of weakness, and then corrects them herself in the morning. I enjoy the time she and I spend figuring out what kind of mistakes she made, because I know she will not make that same mistake next time.

I am really looking forward to this chance to share how your child welcomed a new student, or helped a struggler, or showed compassion for someone having a bad day.

Of course, it's also possible I may have to share something you don't want to hear.

I know it's hard for you to hear these things about your little angel. I realize it might not be the first time, and that you were hoping this year would be different. I understand. I really don't enjoy those moments, either.
I work very hard with your child to overcome any obstacles to his learning.
If I'm sharing a concern with you, please take me seriously.

When I say he struggles to pay attention, I really mean he needs several reminders per minute to stay on task.

When I say she tends to be a bit social, I mean that she's talking way too much in class. Her behavior is distracting others.

When I say he doesn't handle mistakes well, I mean that when I correct him for anything (behavior or academic) he crosses his arms and sulks, and is then unable to learn anything for the rest of the day.

I know you know exactly what I mean. I've only been working with your child for 11 weeks, after all. You've been there for 11 years.

So help me out. Don't take it personally. It's not about you.
It's about your little darling, and how we can, together, make this a great year!

One quarter down. Three to go. Let's make them count.

conferring (part 1)

Hi.
I'm so glad you could come to our fall conferences. I'm looking forward to this chance to discuss your child's progress in my class this far, and to set some goals for the rest of the year.

I would like to ask you a couple of favors.

1) Please be clear about which of your children we are discussing. That would be the one in my class. I'm sure your older/younger child/children are also cute. You probably have videos on your phone you'd like to share. However, this time is dedicated to one particular child. Let's honor that child with our full attention.

2) When I tell you that your child is giving excellent effort, but is still failing to meet the standard, please believe that I'm not sugar-coating. If junior wasn't giving excellent effort I would tell you. Do not tell him that you expect him to work harder, and to change from D's to A+'s in the next 7 weeks of school.  It's not likely to happen. Instead, let's talk about strategies we can all use to help him be more successful.

2b) Improving those grades will require hard work. There is no getting around it. I will help as much as I can, but you and your child will have to do your part. This may require longer homework/practice time and additional parent involvement. The change you want to see will not happen with LESS work. So please do not ask me to reduce the workload.

3) Math looks different now than it did when we were in school. I'll be happy to explain it to you. I'm not saying it is better this way - or that it was better before. We really don't have time to discuss this. It was not a decision I made.

4) When I tell you your child is struggling with communication...wait! Listen while I explain. I actually mean that she is not writing full answers to questions requiring explanations -in all subjects. I don't mean she interrupts. Sure, she might try to, but I don't tolerate that from my students. Of course, now I see where she gets it!

5) If your child is stressing out about something in my class, please come prepared to tell me. Don't make me drag it out of you. If I don't lead with that, chances are she is putting on a "game face" at school, and I don't see any of that angst. I can't help if I don't know.

6) Remember, I'm staying late for your convenience. Please be on time. Or call if you are delayed.

Thank you,
Your partner in education.

Happy Family-Season (Ps 104:12-13)

My sis took this pic. It's mom's backyard in NH.

September 21 was the official beginning of fall. For me, though, the weekend after Halloween seems like the real change of the seasons. Halloween, with its fairs and festivals, corn mazes and pumpkin patches, bonfires and frightful feasts, seems more like summer's last hurrah.

Now, the trees are shaking off their leaves. The coats, scarves, hats, and boots have been moved out of their hiding spots. Calendars are filling with holiday happenings. 

So, I'm thinking we need to rename the seasons.

Family Season: November & December.

One of my lovely "other" families.
God puts families together.
By birth or by other means.

Dear-old-dad trying to decide where to draw the line between need and want.

That *is* what the holidays are supposed to be about, right? I mean, there are those who would say it's more honest to call it the shopping season, but those people just don't have the right kind of loved ones. This is a great time to be thankful for the blessings we already have, and to make more memories, together!

Celebration Season: June - October.

How can you not celebrate when
there's yummy goodness on the grill?

Vacations. Staycations. Fairs. Festivals. Carnivals. Barbeques. There's just so much to celebrate!

Awakening Season: April & May. 

My sister, again. She does some great stuff with her camera!

Have you ever walked in a garden in the Spring? Or worked with tweens/teens?  Flowers opening to the sun. Tragic mudslides. Beauty and devastation, side by side. Teens and flowers. Yup. Spring.

Quiet Season: January - March. 

January 2012, Steilacoom WA, during the "snowpocalypse."

With just a few tiny exceptions, there's really not much happening at this time of year. We're recovering from the togetherness (and expense) of family season, and preparing for the coming awakening & celebrations. Plus, there's the likelyhood of snow. Hmmm... sounds like a good season for sleeping, reading, and rediscovering yourself. Oh, and the average person lasts until about March (less than 100 days) with their New Year's Resolution. Seems like a good time to change the subject -er- season.

Now that we're on the same page, let me say it again. Welcome to family season. Enjoy this time with family and friends. Celebrate the many ways they make your life richer, better, more fun, more interesting. Whether you are looking at falling leaves or twinkling lights, think of the countless little ways your loved ones make your life more colorful, and count yourself blessed. I know I do.

In the trees near by, the birds make their nests and sing. From the sky you send rain on the hills, and the earth is filled with your blessings.                            --Psalm 104:12-13 GNT

On moving forward... (Prov. 9:12)

Last Friday, a member of the local Sherrif's department came to give an assembly for all the 5th graders at my school. Most of these 5th graders have been with our school for many years. More than half of them come from "challenging" backgrounds. For them, 5th grade really marks a crucial dividing line. Up until now, the deputy reminded them, they've been surrounded by people who know them well, and are working with them, as they develop their characters. Next year begins a whole new era of personal accountability.

At the heart of his presentation was a message about setting goals and working toward them. He shared how he is working to further his education, taking online classes at night after getting home at 2a.m.. He told the kids that his drive was to be a better person, husband, father, friend, officer next year than he was this year.

Of course, that's what we all want, isn't it? To be a better person next year? To develop as human beings? It certainly is what God wants for us.

Yet how many of us really stop to examine our personal, long-term goals - regularly - and work toward them faithfully? I know I don't. Not that I don't set goals. Or accomplish things. As any one who's known me long can tell you, when I make my mind up to do something, it gets done.

Unless it doesn't.

Usually the "doesn't" covers the things that actually would improve me as a person. I can plan for a vacation, no problem. This summer I checked at least 3 items off my bucket list. But there are some long-term goals I've had for a while that I've done next-to-nothing about. 

Yes, progress is being made.
But don't ask how long those cups have been around. 

So, I realized I'm not a novelist about a year after I bought this magazine.
But I am an essayist. And much of the same logic/discipline applies.

I've yet to meet a Christian who really felt they "got" Revelation.
I keep meaning to *really* study it. And the prophets. Oh, and the law.
Clearly, I could certainly spend more time  internalizing God's message to His children.
(Book by a friend, Keith Ferrin, available at this link.)

The uncomfortable truth is that I'm much better with short term goals than long term ones. Accomplishing things keeps life interesting, and makes me feel like I'm getting somewhere. Sometimes I am. But not having long-term goals is the same as refusing to look at the bigger picture. And God created us as eternal beings. There's no avoiding the fact that life is lived long-term.

Of course, long term goals require a plan. And some patience. Not to mention perserverence. Those are 3 p's I really struggle with (believe it or not!). Thank goodness for prayer. Because when it comes to thinking long-term, I know I need God's help.

So I'm carving out time today to consider the deputy's questsion: "How will I be a better person next year than I am today?" I already have a couple of ideas. Based on my history with short-term goals, I am confident that, God willing, I can achieve it.

And won't that be a day to celebrate?! 

You are the one who will profit if you have wisdom; and if you reject it, you are the one who will suffer.

(HA! You were expecting 1Cor9:24, weren't you? I thought about it. Really I did.)           -Proverbs 9:12 And if I were you, I'd peek back at Proverbs 8, too.

Two Weeks Notice (PS 92:4)

Two weeks from yesterday, one of the top 5 most interesting men I know (under 40) is coming for a visit. (Before you get bent out of shape, dad, note all the qualifiers in that sentence).

Two weeks from today, I'll get to see a gal-pal I haven't seen in over 7 years while enjoying a bit of the crazy life that is her "normal," and doing good deeds for kids (check out OlympiaPubCrawl Weekend on FB). She's easily one of the most interesting women I know under 40, too.

Of course, I don't seem to know any dull, boring, or uninteresting people - of any age - but that's for another post. 

Two weeks from tomorrow, I'll be on my way to start the next phase of my life.

It's going to be a busy couple of weeks.

Before all that happens, I have to finish packing up my old life. Load it on a truck. Stuff my car with the essentials (after I figure out what those are). I have to deep clean my near-empty apartment. I have to check in with the doctors and the cable company to be sure I haven't got any loose ends. I have to print maps, just in case the electronics fail me en-route. (I do have my grandmother's sense of direction, after all).

I have to bake cookies and a cake. Because I have all the ingredients, and there's really no sense in wasting them. 

Then I get to take those cookies and that cake to friends' and share them. Because I have a lot of visiting to do in the next two weeeks. I get to help a family welcome a much-beloved soldier home from a tour of duty. I get to celebrate Christmas in July with the most fantastic group of foodies around. I get to be the guest of honor at a party I'm throwing. I get to wander by the waterfront. I get to help a friend move. I get to go to a concert. I might even get to a garden.

I'm so excited about my move - and so busy getting ready for it - that I haven't got time to worry (much). But it's okay. Because I know God's got it covered. I get to rely on Him. And I love that. 

For you make me glad by your deeds, Lord; 

I sing for joy at what your hands have done.

-Psalm 92:4

Saturday Night: A Tale of Two Sisters

My sister's wedding (2011). Picture by Michelle Whitehead Photography.

My sister and I, both in our early thirties, both fun-loving, generally happy people, both went out last night. She had a date night. I went to a dinner party.

She tried on dresses and curled her hair. She wanted to wear something that her husband would really appreciate. I donned a costume, dramatic jewelry, and wrenched my hair into old-fashioned braids, just as certain that the details make all the difference.

She made sure the dogs took care of business, tidied up the house, loaded backpacks with clothes, toys, and (of course) the ipad in the car, before locking up and taking the kids to grandma's. I wrestled a carrying-box with soup and bread and cheese and bowls out the door, down the stairs, into the car, then ran upstairs to close and lock the door, thankful that I no longer have a cat named Frog who would have bolted out that open door or taken advantage of the mess I left in the kitchen.

I tried to figure out how to keep soup from sloshing all over my car while I drove. I just wanted there to be something left in the crock-pot when I arrived. She chatted with her kids and cranked up the tunes.

When she reached her destination, she had waiters eager to fulfill her every wish. My friends and I worked together to put the finishing touches on dinner, set the table, and serve each other the treats we'd so carefully prepared.

We talked about jobs and children and coming adventures.

After dinner we enjoyed some drama. My friends and I solved a murder-mystery set on the doomed Titanic. My sister and her husband went to see "Wrath of the Titans." I'm sure doom and  murder were involved.

I was home, in bed, before midnight. I think she was, too. 

The thing is... we both had a great time.

Yes, sometimes I wish I had her life - the kids, the dog (just one, though), the loving husband. I like to think that sometimes she envies the randomness that is mine. However different our lives are, though, we share a love for celebrating life, making the most of every little thing. I love that about us.

A moment in time

A while back, someone posed the following question as a warm-up to a Bible-study group I'm in: "If you could take one (round) trip on a time machine absolutely anywhen - past or future - when would you visit?"

Think about that for a minute. What would you wish?

The dozen-or-so people in my group had some great answers. One would visit a time of national tragedy as a pair of helping hands. One would visit the past with some tips on sanitation that would save countless lives. One wanted to look back a generation and try to understand her own parents better. A few wanted to peek into the future, to see how things turned out for their children and their children's children. 

So again...what would you wish?

Interestingly, only one of us chose to visit Bible-times. The Garden of Eden, to be exact.
Remember, this is a Bible study group. We're all believers. We all look eagerly toward the day when we'll be face-to-face with the glorified Christ in Heaven. But given the chance to time-travel, none of us wished to visit Him during His ministry here on Earth.

Why?
I can't speak for anyone else, but I have given a lot of thought to my own reluctance.
As usual, for me, there's not one easy answer.

There's the "good" answer. And the more real answer. They both boil down to the same key word: DOUBT.

The good answer is extracted from Jesus' own words to "doubting Thomas." Remember Thomas? He's the apostle who couldn't accept that Jesus was really back from the dead that first Easter until he had put his own fingers into the Lord's wounds. Jesus let Thomas poke away until Tom was satisfied that the man in front of him truly was the One he expected to rule. When Thomas declared "It is you!," Jesus replied, "because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

So that's the good answer. I believe without seeing, so I am differently blessed than those who touched, saw, and believed. I wouldn't want to loose the sweetness of that absolute faith. Each day, I rely on the Spirit of God in ways the early disciples didn't have to. It is only through God-in-Me that my faith grows, that I understand the universe, that I live with confidence that there is more to life than the "reality" that confronts me each day. That reliance draws me closer to God. I wouldn't jeopardize that for a moment.

Lovely thought, isn't it. And true. And yet... not all there is to my hesitation to step back into His path. After all, I know Jesus didn't love Thomas any less for wondering. I expect to meet him in Heaven. His story is proof, in the Bible, that Jesus understands our need to probe and question.

The more real answer is, of course, far messier and less pious.

I didn't choose to go back to Jesus's time because I was afraid that He wouldn't have time for me. That He wouldn't see me, notice me, hear me, care about me. Throughout His ministry he was surrounded by THRONGS of people. Thousands came to hear him preach. At least 3 times he had to "escape" the crowd. I wasn't willing to take the chance that I'd be just another face in that crowd. If Jesus didn't know me, didn't have time for me, couldn't see me or recognize me, I'd be lost.

I'm glad "God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." However, sometimes I need to know God cares just about ME, not about the whole world.

This spring I've spent some time re-reading the gospels. Looking at the individuals Jesus did encounter. Mary and Martha. Jairus, the official with the dying daughter. The blind man He healed with spit. Lazarus, for whom He wept. The woman at the well. The adulteress He saved from execution. Zaccheus. The Samaritan leper. The bleeding woman.

I've learned something important. Yes, Jesus did teach the crowd. Because God did send Him for the whole world. But He also made time for the individuals who sought him out. Zaccheus sat in a tree just hoping for a glimpse of the Lord passing by, and Jesus decided to come to his house for dinner. The bleeding woman snuck up on Him, so convinced of her own worthlessness that she didn't even want to ask for help or attention. He praised her for her faith. Jairus was an official at the synagogue - representing the very institutions that would have Jesus killed - yet, the He went into his house and rescued his young daughter.

So... I've learned that Jesus would have noticed me. He would have heard me, and even stopped to talk to me. He would have cared about me. I would not have been just a face in the crowd. The Spirit of God, the divine Comforter my Lord sent when He returned to Heaven, taught me that.
I've never been so glad to be wrong...and right...at the same time.


As for time-travel, maybe I'll visit doubting Thomas - after the Ascension, of course. It seems he and I might have a lot to talk about.

New Year's Resolutions

It's cliched, I know, to make resolutions. It is much easier not to break resolutions you don't make, so that's been my thinking the last few years. Avoid failing myself by skipping the whole thing.

This year, though, I'm taking a braver stand. I'm declaring some goals for the year, and stepping forward in full confidence that I can and will do what I set out to do.

So, in 2012, I will give myself (at least) 1 hour each day.

15 minutes to write in a journal, memory book, story, or blog.

15 minutes to read something uplifting, inspiring, or otherwise edifying.

15 minutes to walk & breathe.

15 minutes to meditate on how much God loves me.

Now, obviously that's not much time for any of these. Ideally, I'll find myself so engrossed I'll spend a little more time in each worthy pursuit. Yet I sit here, thinking over the last month or so, and recognize that such a small commitment will be a HUGE improvement from my recent past.

To tell the truth, my last blog post (Nov. 10) was the last serious writing I did (unless you count the endless Christmas-card letters).  I *may* have logged a total of 60 minutes this month reading a couple inspirational works by CSLewis and Brennan Mannering. Maybe. Most of what I read over my Christmas break was cotton-candy for the brain. I read the YA series The Hunger Games. I read 5 of those short Christmas novellas that magically appear everywhere this time of year. I read 3 magazines: Oprah, People, and Saturday Evening Post. I read a mystery by James Patterson. I read some of my favorite children's Christmas books. As for walking and breathing... well... um, yea. I live just under two miles from one of the most gorgeous views around, but I can't tell you the date of the last time I walked down to see it.

I can't even tell you how far I've gotten from really feeling God's love. Gasp, if you will, but be honest.  I'm not saying I think God doesn't love me. I'm saying I've gotten so caught up in "my world" that I've forgotten how to see that love. I expect to write more on that as the year progresses. 

My resolutions are tiny. I will, most likely, miss a step every so often (in fact, I didn't walk today). But even little things make a big difference. Like a smile from a friend.  One extra "snooze" in the morning. A baby. A pair of comfy socks. A cup of coffee. 5mph on the freeway. So, a little bit at a time, I resolve to spend the next year getting closer to the me I want to be.